Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

Top 10 Replies To Offline People Asking What It Is You Do

I get this all the time. Sometimes I really like to mess with them and just starting talking about Adwords or SEO or even just tell them I sell other people's products. There is always a bunch of questions when people in the "real world" ask what it is I do online. I'll save you some time here and give you some responses to use. I have used everyone of these myself and it is usually enough to freak someone out and make them be on their way.

How do you make your money online?


  1. I am a digital drug dealer
  2. I am a porn star
  3. I am a porn webmaster
  4. I run pyramid schemes
  5. I am a spammer (Ha this ones great for me, not entirely untrue in some pansies eyes)
  6. I run a digital pharmaceuticals operation
  7. I use spyware and adware to infect the world to do my work for me
  8. I work on Ebay (Wont always get you off the hook as its very familiar to a lot, it's 50/50, sometimes they might ask what you sell)
  9. I am a hacker
  10. I loan my body out thru Craigslist and Ebay

With the exception of #8 these will almost get you off the hook and continue on with your day. Keep them in mind next time your neighbors are having that next door get together, invite you over and you got to play 5,000 questions while eating your hot dog. It's annoying as hell.

What do you say when someone asks you this?

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41 Responses

February 3, 2008

I always say that I’m a writer, and people invariably ask if I’ve written something they’ve seen.

I just say “Not unless you have erectile dysfunction…”

That usually puts an end to all future questions.

February 4, 2008

LOl…nice one Ha!

February 4, 2008

Ha ha. Great post. I struggle with this question all of the time. Since I travel around working on the internet someone in my family did think I was a drug dealer.

February 4, 2008

I just tell them I do survey online LMAO

Ya and if they can get into doing the focus groups they pay way more then just doing a regular survey.

Oh ya and I tell them where I signed up to do this of course Hint Hint LMAO.

February 4, 2008

Funny, there is a similar thread in the RJ forum lol

But response is always..

I do some work online, then I send them to my Fave blog..
Guess which one.? ;)
They awfully quiet around here though lol

February 4, 2008

From the emails, pm’s and IM’s I get it seems that some topics we discuss (or the majority) of them are kind of the type that fly over people’s heads.

I am trying to wrap my head around this and will create a section for it here and in the forum. I know talking with the townsfolk here that visit my blog they always hit me up on an article and say I have no idea what your talking about but everyone else does.

I assume from the comments that is what they are seeing.

February 4, 2008

I’m a traffic broker :)

February 4, 2008

Them: what do you do online?

Me: I read Ruckles.

February 4, 2008

I usually just say that I work with computers. Makes me sound really boring I suppose since few people ask follow up questions.

…can’t believe what just happened tonight. I wonder what they do with all those Patriot Superbowl Champions hats and shirts?

February 4, 2008

I’m a web programmer. Sometimes, and you’ll probably only get this if you watch Disney in the mornings with your toddler, I feel like Pat the hammer ( he helps Handy Manny). He says … “I’m a hammer.”

People generally leave me alone after that, though, if they ask what that means, I say “you know when you type your email address into a form? I write those.” Real specific, yes ?

February 4, 2008

@ Cyrus – Ha, no shit, I lost money :(

February 4, 2008
the other Jeff

I market online so I can watch my new england patriots choke. That will be my new answer.

February 4, 2008

Hahaha not to piss anyone off or anything, but YEE HAA Giants!!! Cant stand Tom Brady…

People always ask me how I can afford to let my wife stay home and only I work with 2 kids. I simply tell them I make a side income with my computer at home.

If I get any follow up question I just say go online and type in make money online at google and I have probably tried some of the methods….

There is WAY too much to try and explain to people about what I and you guys do. So many different things…


February 4, 2008
the other Jeff

The worse part is when you begin your journey full time. Feels as if everyone closes to you does not believe in you. It can really hurt.

However, when checking your stats while your at there kitchen table an make sure they get a accidental glimpse of your earnings , there worry of your future starts to fade.

February 4, 2008

Yea no doubt,

For me though I live in a town of 700. When your making deposits to the only bank and town and they tell you that they cannot handle it and to bank elsewhere, word gets around REAL fast.

It’s actually pretty ridiculous now. Whenever (L) goes out everyone asks her how Ruck is doing. I find it flattering, it kind of pisses her off a bit.

February 4, 2008

I usually tell them I’m a pornstar… and I always get the same question.

“For What Site?”

February 4, 2008

When I get this question; usually from family or people I went to high school with I just laugh.

Since I’m 22 people always ask if I graduated from College or if I am still in school.

The truth and the answer I give them is I have taken a few years off to grow my business.

Usually they give me a look like I just committed murder, then they ask what it is I do.

:As you can tell by my answer I am tired of having this question asked by everyone in such a demeaning way that it comforts me that I can reply this way and it is 100% the truth in every case:

* Before I answer this question can I ask you one, What do you do for a living, (even if I know the answer I always ask.)

Usually they will always respond with what it is that they do.

(Since all of my friends and family in exception for one make less than $120,000 per year I always respond with another question.)

*Is that very lucrative? (They respond in a variety of ways, 100% of the time they look offended.)

*Before I respond to the question that you asked I will respond with the one that you really want to know;

Yes, I did drop out of college and the reason I did is because I made $60,000 part time with my business it’s first year. (2006)

Last year, (2007) I made over $160,000.

In 2008 I am on my way to making over $300,000.

I drive a 2008 Lexus Ls Sedan and a 2007 Toyota Tundra. (Yes, I like Toyota, Shoot me.)

I bought a brand new home 6 months a go.

And I make more money in a month then a lot of people do in a year.

*I am an Internet Marketer
(From now on taking a spin off of Ruck’s suggestion I am going to reply that I am a Porn Star named Buck Naked, “idea stolen from Seinfeld.”
and that I have a few very successful video series,

1. Buck likes to F#*K

2. Buck Wild Presents:

3. The Life and Times of Buck Naked

Then I will ask if they have ever seen any of my videos and if they would like an autograph?

February 4, 2008

I quite like telling people I’m in online gambling.

most people are scared to ask more after that.

I have pretended to make a full time living from actually gambling before (not aff programs) but people get too interested so I just tell them about one my sites and say how I do is on

February 4, 2008

Well knowing you Daniel and your business that is an interesting reply. Hmm, I dont know how people would react to it being from the US here but I would imagine they would probably leave me alone after the response also..

(Jots down online gamling to use at the post office tomorrow)

February 4, 2008

For me I just respond with “I’m a drug dealer”. I like that just for the shock value

February 4, 2008

I get a heap of people ask me…and I usually just divert the question. I hate trying to think of something that people wont keep asking questions about. I might have to try a few of these :D

February 4, 2008

my simple answer….

“I run Advertisement campaigns on the internet for Pharmaceutical Companies”

Hardly get any follow up questions ;)

February 4, 2008

Wait.. so your telling me your not a porn webmaster?

February 4, 2008


I swear that was not me you saw. Swear.

February 4, 2008

I go with “Information Services Consulting”. At least that’s what I put down as where I got my extra income on a recent mortgage application. It’s just a matter of slapping together a few “my eyes glaze over” type buzzwords that usually end with consultant.

Never mention eBay unless you want to either (a) get in a discussion about how most sellers are scum of the earth, (b) hear about how bad PayPal sucks when you don’t follow their rules, or (c) describe to them how they can get rich selling Grandma’s heirlooms on eBay.

February 4, 2008

I say I work at (insert local business name here) and I just started. I don’t even begin telling people what I do.

February 4, 2008


Grandma’s Heirlooms, that’s killer :)

C’mon Chris, you dont even mess with them a little bit?

February 4, 2008

I tell them…

“I took the Blue Pill”

By the way, all those hats and shirts that say Patriots: Super Bowl Champions…I read somewhere that the NFL ships them off the third world countries.

Some little Ethiopian will be proudly sporting his Pats Super Bowl shirt while mashing up his rice tonight.

February 4, 2008

By the way, I know we don’t all care, but has anyone noticed that The Warrior Forum seems to have crashed for most of the day?? lol

February 4, 2008

lmao @ Chris..

February 4, 2008

Hi Ruck,

Just seeing if I could hook up with you this afternoon.



February 5, 2008

Hey Derek,

I missed you today as I took the family to Topeka today before the next storm sets in. I’ll send you an email tonight and see if we can set up a time real quick tomorrow. Again I apologize, she just sprang it on me…as usual.

February 5, 2008

No problem at all. Glad you got some family time in. The weather here is getting to be a real drag. Hoping to get away in the next couple months.


February 5, 2008

Where I live, most aren’t very shocked by anyone’s answer to “So … what do you do?”


February 5, 2008

The responses are hilarious and obviously you all have fun busting peoples chops about what you do.

Explanations of my law firm career went over the heads of most nosey people, so they stopped asking. I’m hoping the same will happen w/ my affiliate marketing business. But If anyone presses me about it, I think I’ll say ‘it’s way over your head…trust me’ and walk away. That will boil their blood, won’t it?

February 5, 2008

I hate to be serious here but if someone is looking for making more money you can say that you help businesses get more sales by internet marketing .

But in terms of just being left alone at a gathering I think big words like autoresponder series creator , optimization of web results etc will probably result in no further questions . People don’t want to feel stupid so often want to not show they don’t understand something.


February 5, 2008

lol @ trump, excellent answer.

I know that “look” all too well.

February 5, 2008

Unfortunately, this isn’t a “problem” I have to deal with right now…my primary income still comes from my other jobs…can’t wait till I have to be more creative when I get the question!

February 5, 2008

What do I do? I collect cheques which bares my name and cash them… :lol:

February 5, 2008

Hey Ruck,

Just got your message. I Yahoo IM you just now. If you have time I am here.



February 6, 2008

Honestly I hold down a full time job where I only work 14 days every 28, so alot of this is still part time. Most of those I associate with have no clue I do anything online, and those that do know everything I do online.

The only question I was ever asked was from a bank teller when I was depositing an Adsense check. My reply was that I do internet advertising and that Google pays me for it!